6.24.09 11:43pm Brickland cemetery: Cemetery officials stated that vandals toppled over several tombstones last night. Police indicated that evidence was found on the scene and arrests will be made next week. Estimated loss: $350 studs
6.25.09 9:48am Shell gas station theft: A shell gas station attendant reported to police that a red sports car driven by a red-headed female drove off after filling her fuel tank without paying. The attendant was not able to catch the license plate of the vehicle. Estimated loss: …

Police Chief Hanz Cuffs report the following crimes:
6/22/09 2:45pm  Luigi’s pizza robbery.  Two masked men stole to pepperoni pizzas.  Police have no leads other than the grease trail heading in the direction of the docks.  Estimated loss:  $22 studs
6/22/09  11:39pm:  Grand theft auto from the Custom Vehicle garage.  Owners reported that a 1953 custom red hot rod was stolen from the lot.  No leads yet.  Estimated loss:  $12,000 studs
6/23/09 4:00pm:  Report of vandalism to mailboxes.  Residents of the beach front community reported that town youths were seen playing mailbox baseball. …

Brickland police chief Joe Smith has identified the man the Deptartment of Sanitation found stuffed in one of their recycle trucks.  The man known as Al “the bookie” Bendito was the accountant for Brickland’s main organized crime family run by Tony “claw hand” Cannoli.  The Cannoli family moved into the city three years ago and seems to be expanding the business in recent weeks.  A failed attempt in fixing the union vote for the dock workers at the local harbor is believed to be the reason why Al Bendito was …